Thinking Too Much

If I hadn't thought it I sure am now convinced I am in major need of finding a summer job. These past few days my mind has been racing with mixed thoughts positive and negative, anxious and nervous, depressed and hopeful. All my friends and family work during the day leaving me by myself. My routine consists of going to the gym, laying out getting and watching the World Cup games. 

Today I was suppose to board a plane for LA and tomorrow is China 20 orientation day before departure Friday for China :( while I am still here in Maryland. Last week I prepped with organizing my luggage as well tying up some ends, ends that now frayed because of me opening my mouth. I definitely would have gone about some things differently last week if I had known I wasn't leaving. But the invention of time travel has not been perfected thus I must deal with the repercussions. I like to think of myself as being honest, however, sometimes my honesty is a tad too much. I haven't figured out how to sugarcoat all of it yet. People will either respect it or they won't accept it. A couple people have surprised me they really had expected/banked on me departing this week now a shift in our connection is present. It happens with any friendship right? Some can grow forward as where others grow apart. And besides it is better recognizing it now rather than hopes being let down while I am aboard. 

Yesterday I went climbing for the first time in almost 2weeks it felt amazing. Although I need to conserve my money renewing my membership would be for the best. Climbing is such a great way to clear your mind while also getting an amazing workout. As you all can see from this post my thought process is all over the place. I feel a tad lost. Just have to hold strong to my faith. Things will play out the way they were meant too! 

I am thinking a mini week getaway is in order. Go visit a friend out of state, get away from my room that is almost empty and family who means well but pities me. Hmm where to go, MA, NC, GA or am I feeling carefree enough to go all way cross country to WA + CA? The friends that have stuck it out with me and continue to be there even if some time passes in between contact, are just the people I need to getaway too/with!